Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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