i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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