sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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