She is in my trunk
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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