I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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