fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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