Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
