someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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