I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
