And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
