Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
