He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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