So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
