I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
