she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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