were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
