I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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