She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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