I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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