i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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