Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
