Define "chronic" masturbator.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize