The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
