Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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