What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
