I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
