I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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