Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
