If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
