It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
