I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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