Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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