I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just want to make out with him forever
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
