Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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