Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
