i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
