think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
