my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
