i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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