I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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