so explain again why im purple
no
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
