We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
