hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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