If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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