she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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