When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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