Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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