I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
