why didn't you poke me back
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
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Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda