Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.

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  (509): Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN. http://tfl.nu/p4en
  Replies (19) Good night (4066) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him

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  (858): i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him http://tfl.nu/fwf2
  Replies (5) Good night (3060) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...

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  (210): I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling... http://tfl.nu/2wcp
  Replies (9) Good night (943) Bad night (4848) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.

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  (386): you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/n48i
  Replies (18) Good night (863) Bad night (4178) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?

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  (954): My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this? http://tfl.nu/pvqp
  Replies (43) Good night (4630) Bad night (2175) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.

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  (605): He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/s2q9
  Replies (11) Good night (1378) Bad night (5620) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts

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  (858): Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts http://tfl.nu/npv2
  Replies (17) Good night (6607) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.

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  (863): I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous. http://tfl.nu/l7hq
  Replies (7) Good night (2074) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*

  (310): View more from California

  Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.

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  (310): I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.* (310): Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche. http://tfl.nu/gxdj
  Replies (12) Good night (2768) Bad night (619)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.

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  (210): She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college. http://tfl.nu/uhbq
  Replies (4) Good night (1988) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy

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  (253): Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex (206): Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy http://tfl.nu/0aky
  Replies (16) Good night (2498) Bad night (754)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.

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  (215): so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/j7g1
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"

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  (814): Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose" http://tfl.nu/62vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1144) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I rest my case.

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  (720): ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO. (1-720): Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving. (720): I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW. (720): I rest my case. http://tfl.nu/ktzi
  Replies (10) Good night (1916) Bad night (340)
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  (818): View more from California

  I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.

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  (818): I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots. http://tfl.nu/3p7b
  Replies (2) Good night (260) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt

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