i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
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I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.