He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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