Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm bleeding and have questions
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize