that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
