cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
